There once was a lobster named Brad, Who decided that he would wear plaid. But his fellows mocked, And the lobster was shocked, And continued through life unclad. I don’t know why I am hating on lobsters this week. A lobster never once wronged me, aside from freaking me out slightly at the aquarium. MaybeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Evidence that Lobsters are Jerks”
Category Archives: Humor
Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks
This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”
Thursday Limerick: Cat vs Christmas Tree
A fur tree of towering height, Decorated with ornaments bright, Fell near the cat, Almost knocking him flat, And gave him a horrible fright.
Thursday Limerick: Manta
In the aquarium in Atlanta, Resided a ravenous manta. He wanted more fish, To add to his dish, So he wrote a letter to Santa. There are like two words that rhyme with “Santa” but by an amazing stroke of luck, there is an aquarium with manta rays in Georgia.
Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon
Osa is back by popular demand. Read her previous stories here: Osa and the Food Gods Osa and the Bald One Happy Halloween! “The demon that gripped me was pale,” Nutmeg the guinea pig began. “White from the neckdown, but his hands were a cold blue like ice. He enclosed me in a towel, soContinue reading “Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon”
Thursday Limerick: Pet Recommendations
If you think that you want a pet, But don’t know what kind you should get, Birds, cats, and mice, Are all very nice. Venomous snakes you are bound to regret. Follow me for more helpful advice:
Thursday Limerick: Married Life
The season of pumpkins is near, And my husband is bursting with cheer. He is eager to see, Spooks and gore on TV. I’ll grab a book and disappear. I’ve thwarted his every attempt to get me into horror. Okay, I watched like one scary movie once. Maybe two, but nothing too gory. Maybe justContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Married Life”
The Uncontroversial Controversy
Some people have foot conditions that require them to stick their feet in their podiatrist’s face for exams. Educate yourself before making harmful comments like this.
Thursday Limerick: Raccoon Platoon
A sneaky and cunning raccoon, Stole some trash mid afternoon. Exceptionally keen, The raccoon was not seen, And escaped to his waiting platoon.
Thursday Limerick: Sheep
When Jason found he couldn’t sleep, He decided to hire some sheep. But they ate up his throw, So he told them to go. And swore ’cause they didn’t come cheap. He should have looked at their Yelp reviews.
The Fables of Para Sympan 