This story is a sequel to Jake’s New Job. It also references The Smart Home Rebellion. Read at your own risk. “Earthdate April 15th, 7999,” Zultorg dictated. She watched as a perfect transcription appeared in the air before her eyes. The letters were not actually there, of course. They were an illusion created by theContinue reading “A Literary Masterpiece”
Osa is back by popular demand. Read her previous stories here: Osa and the Food Gods Osa and the Bald One Happy Halloween! “The demon that gripped me was pale,” Nutmeg the guinea pig began. “White from the neckdown, but his hands were a cold blue like ice. He enclosed me in a towel, soContinue reading “Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon”
Note: This story is a sequel to Elves vs Elves: A Christmas Miracle. Read this first or risk confusion. At the age of a hundred and sixty, Princess Sciatica wasn’t technically a teenager. She was, however, the elven equivalent. She sat in the passenger seat of her father’s car, scowling out the window asContinue reading “Elf vs Elf: A Family Drama”
There are three things every fairy needs to remember when trying to help a human: Stepmothers are always evil. Marriage to a prince or princess is the best way to reward a virtuous soul. Any time a family has three children, the elder two are evil and the youngest is good. At least, this isContinue reading “Toads and Diamonds and Fairytale Cliches”
Everyone knows that witches like to eat children. Hazel and Thistle were no different. They were sisters who lived together in a house that stood on chicken feet. It wasn’t that they couldn’t eat other things. Sometimes they would eat bunnies, or chipmunks, or stroganoff, but children were their preference. Their home was in theContinue reading “The Fairy Tale Food Chain”
He had a strict routine for irritating people. He would begin his day going into one stall in every restroom across the terminal and shredding an entire roll of toilet paper.
Alexander made a mark on the wall every morning, counting the days of his captivity. The more scratches he made, the more he longed for human companionship.
Getting kidnapped by a princess was the pinnacle of humiliation.
STOP! This story won’t make much sense unless you’ve read How to Kill a King. It might not make sense after that either. But then, do any of my stories make sense? Other stories referenced, but not essential to your understanding: Scott the CEO Elves vs Elves Now where was I? Para Sympan, Middle Ages, SoutheasternContinue reading “How to Avoid Assassination”
Fighter jets circle the airport every spring to protect passenger planes. Most dragons won’t fly above ten thousand feet, so defense is only required during takeoff and landing. Dragons are a protected species. While it is illegal to shoot them down, it is acceptable to scare them off with a warning shot. Usually this is sufficient. Usually.