There are three things every fairy needs to remember when trying to help a human: Stepmothers are always evil. Marriage to a prince or princess is the best way to reward a virtuous soul. Any time a family has three children, the elder two are evil and the youngest is good. At least, this isContinue reading “Toads and Diamonds and Fairytale Cliches”
Everyone knows that witches like to eat children. Hazel and Thistle were no different. They were sisters who lived together in a house that stood on chicken feet. It wasn’t that they couldn’t eat other things. Sometimes they would eat bunnies, or chipmunks, or stroganoff, but children were their preference. Their home was in theContinue reading “The Fairy Tale Food Chain”
He had a strict routine for irritating people. He would begin his day going into one stall in every restroom across the terminal and shredding an entire roll of toilet paper.
Alexander made a mark on the wall every morning, counting the days of his captivity. The more scratches he made, the more he longed for human companionship.
Getting kidnapped by a princess was the pinnacle of humiliation.
STOP! This story won’t make much sense unless you’ve read How to Kill a King. It might not make sense after that either. But then, do any of my stories make sense? Other stories referenced, but not essential to your understanding: Scott the CEO Elves vs Elves Now where was I? Para Sympan, Middle Ages, SoutheasternContinue reading “How to Avoid Assassination”
Fighter jets circle the airport every spring to protect passenger planes. Most dragons won’t fly above ten thousand feet, so defense is only required during takeoff and landing. Dragons are a protected species. While it is illegal to shoot them down, it is acceptable to scare them off with a warning shot. Usually this is sufficient. Usually.
When human technology confuses wild animals, it can pose a real safety hazard. Like when a dragon falls hopelessly in love with what it thinks is another dragon, but is actually a 737. Come back on February 7th to read my new short Love is in the Air.
“I blame myself really,” Fausta recalled. “The first was carrying me off after our wedding celebration, when he tripped and landed on my knife. The second died during our wedding feast when I accidentally spilled hemlock juice in his drink, and the third died of a heart attack after our vows. I don’t blame myself for that one, he was a very old man. It was just luck, I suppose.”