Big news! I’ve just launched my new book, The Canadian Nights. Description: The president of the United States has a giant red button on his desk. If he ever chose to push this button, it would send the world into chaos. This button is for emergencies only and is designed to break the internet. HowContinue reading “New Book Release!”
A parrot named Polly was wed, To an old vulture named Fred. But Fred was not rich, So she decided to ditch, And she packed up her things and fled. Poor Fred. </3
There once was a fellow named Pete. Who was religiously neat. When a visitor cruised, Inside wearing shoes, The germaphobe cut off his feet. Really, Pete, you could have asked politely.
Bill was both cruel and naive. And stayed up all night Christmas Eve. His cunning plan, was to catch the fat man. But Bill’s family was destined to grieve.
If you are one of the people who read the original stories, I hereby honor you with the title hipster.
It’s amazing what frog aristocrats will spend for fly pies. There once was a gecko named Stan. Who came up with a lucrative plan. He caught him some flies, Which he baked into pies, Then sold to a wealthy frog-man.
There once was a conquering horse, Who took someone’s pasture by force. But through God’s saving grace, He relinquished the place, And left full of pain and remorse.
Hackers always wear ski masks. I have watched enough corporate training videos to know this for a fact. I would say that these ski masks are for hiding the hacker’s identity, but they seem a little unnecessary given that hackers always work from dark basements illuminated only by the eerie green light of their computerContinue reading “Jake’s New Job”
A scientist–eccentric and quirky, Engineered a self-seasoning turkey. In creating the bird, Criticisms incurred, For his methods were morally murky.
There once was a fellow named Paul. Scary posters covered his hall. He was so very keen, On getting to Halloween, That he wished it could always be Fall. There are two kinds of people in the world: those who wear flip-flops until November, and those who put out pumpkins in July. Which kind areContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Halloween”