Big news! I’ve just launched my new book, The Canadian Nights. Description: The president of the United States has a giant red button on his desk. If he ever chose to push this button, it would send the world into chaos. This button is for emergencies only and is designed to break the internet. HowContinue reading “New Book Release!”
When alien’s decided to land, They left their spacecraft unmanned. Teens entered the ship, And took it for a trip, Which is not what the aliens planned.
A parrot named Polly was wed, To an old vulture named Fred. But Fred was not rich, So she decided to ditch, And she packed up her things and fled. Poor Fred. </3
The ducks at the lake were all fed, A diet of crumbly bread. They found it a bore, And petitioned for more, And were given fish eggs instead. Only the most expensive caviar would do.
A gnome went to happy hour, But it made his stomach feel sour. He called his friend Jerome, To get a ride home, And then took a freezing cold shower. Don’t drink and drive. Even if the thing you’re driving is a giant snail. …What does a snail look like when it’s swerving? …Could aContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Don’t drink and drive.”
I write too many limericks about California and Washington. Here’s a limerick about (rolls dice) Nevada: Suddenly Vegas is there. It came out of the sand from nowhere. If you brought a buck, You can try out your luck, But don’t complain it isn’t fair.
When the doctor looked at her chart, He said Bernice needed a heart. But where could she find, An organ of that kind? She lucked out at her local Walmart. They really have everything, don’t they? If she was in the Northwest, she could have tried Fred Meyer.
CIA agent Max Carnage stood in an elevator watching the numbers over the door descend. The CIA’s hiring policies only allowed them to recruit agents who were over six feet tall and unnaturally good-looking. Even disguised as a janitor in a frumpy blue jumpsuit, Max was worried his broad shoulders, strong jawline, and chiseled featuresContinue reading “Short Story: Max Carnage, CIA”
A philosopher fan of Descartes, Decided he’d go into art. But caught up in his ink, He forgot to think, And the universe tore him apart. “I don’t think, therefore I am not.” – Katy, 2021
I asked my six-year-old for a limerick topic. She said: a duck trying to get his money back. Here you go: There was an unfortunate duck. In Vegas, he lost his last buck. So he served and got tips, Then returned with more chips, But continued to have lousy luck.