A gnome went to happy hour, But it made his stomach feel sour. He called his friend Jerome, To get a ride home, And then took a freezing cold shower. Don’t drink and drive. Even if the thing you’re driving is a giant snail. …What does a snail look like when it’s swerving? …Could aContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Don’t drink and drive.”
I write too many limericks about California and Washington. Here’s a limerick about (rolls dice) Nevada: Suddenly Vegas is there. It came out of the sand from nowhere. If you brought a buck, You can try out your luck, But don’t complain it isn’t fair.
When the doctor looked at her chart, He said Bernice needed a heart. But where could she find, An organ of that kind? She lucked out at her local Walmart. They really have everything, don’t they? If she was in the Northwest, she could have tried Fred Meyer.
CIA agent Max Carnage stood in an elevator watching the numbers over the door descend. The CIA’s hiring policies only allowed them to recruit agents who were over six feet tall and unnaturally good-looking. Even disguised as a janitor in a frumpy blue jumpsuit, Max was worried his broad shoulders, strong jawline, and chiseled featuresContinue reading “Short Story: Max Carnage, CIA”
A philosopher fan of Descartes, Decided he’d go into art. But caught up in his ink, He forgot to think, And the universe tore him apart. “I don’t think, therefore I am not.” – Katy, 2021
I asked my six-year-old for a limerick topic. She said: a duck trying to get his money back. Here you go: There was an unfortunate duck. In Vegas, he lost his last buck. So he served and got tips, Then returned with more chips, But continued to have lousy luck.
There once was a hungry whale. Who swallowed his neighbor’s mail. Since this was a crime, He had to do time, And was soon locked away without bail.
James had a rusty antique. (Some said it was Roman or Greek.) Deciding it was a fake, He threw it in the lake, And was never rich, famous, or chic. Moral: He should have gotten expert appraisal. Also, you shouldn’t throw junk in the lake. That’s littering.
There once was a fellow named Jerry. His face was all unkempt and hairy. When his wife said to shave, He had no choice but to cave, Because she was insistent and scary.
There once was a ravenous yeti. Who decided to cook some spaghetti. And he thought skiers great, To add to his plate, So he caught some before it was ready.