There once was an insecure whale. Who thought he could do nothing but fail. He was smarter than he knew, And his confidence grew, When he learned he’d been accepted to Yale. Not sure how he’s going to attend class on land…
There once was a fellow named Greg, Who longed for a chocolate egg. He could not recall, Having eaten them all, And so he decided to beg.
There was a religious rabbit, Who decided to don a habit. Could a rabbit endure? The monks were not sure. But he soon was promoted to abbot.
There once was a lobster named Brad, Who decided that he would wear plaid. But his fellows mocked, And the lobster was shocked, And continued through life unclad. I don’t know why I am hating on lobsters this week. A lobster never once wronged me, aside from freaking me out slightly at the aquarium. MaybeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Evidence that Lobsters are Jerks”
This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”
When a skunk wanted to be alone, He put on some smelly cologne. While this rancid perfume, Did clear out the room, It’s not something I can condone.
When the blogger decided to write, Outrage he hoped to incite. But the internet mob, Made him whimper and sob, And gave him a terrible fright.
The tables were greasy with scum, And the undersides covered in gum. The owner was mean, And refused to clean, And he lived on a diet of rum.
James wanted the entire scone, But he couldn’t bear living alone. So he took out a knife, And gave half to his wife, And was not forced to live on his own.
A lactose intolerant fairy, Who couldn’t consume any dairy, Tried hard to think, Of an alternate drink, And finally settled on sherry.