Please don’t read this to your kids. Nothing about South Jersey is child appropriate. There is a four-letter word that I am absolutely sure none of you have ever read. If you ever did read it, you would be so utterly horrified and offended, you would instantly die of a heart attack. Unfortunately, the offendingContinue reading “A South Jersey Fairy Tale”
When Joe Campbell wrote The Chainsaw Sharks I swore I would never write again. I thought that there wasn’t any point in even trying to match such a perfect literary masterpiece. Then, one day, a shaft of light fell upon me from the heavens. I rushed to my computer and let my fingers fly acrossContinue reading “Rex’s Wish – A Tragic Romance”
Karen was horribly rude, She complained while she ordered her food. She should have been wary, One cashier was a fairy, Who cursed her for her attitude.
I am finished writing. Done. Forever. You see, yesterday my husband wrote this short story. Upon reading it, I gathered up all my classics: my Shakespeare, Tolkien, Dickens, Orwell, and Homer and I threw them all in the trash. I then vowed that I would never write anything again. You see, nothing will ever comeContinue reading “Chainsaw Sharks”
This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”
Strake was a member of the Bildge party. Therefore, according to unspoken social rules of Bosun, Clew voters were obligated to disagree with everything he said, no matter what it was. This rule was so much ingrained in the Bosunian social fabric, that when a Bildge party member once said the sky was blue, the Clew party called it fake news.
Osa is back by popular demand. Read her previous stories here: Osa and the Food Gods Osa and the Bald One Happy Halloween! “The demon that gripped me was pale,” Nutmeg the guinea pig began. “White from the neckdown, but his hands were a cold blue like ice. He enclosed me in a towel, soContinue reading “Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon”
It’s amazing what frog aristocrats will spend for fly pies. There once was a gecko named Stan. Who came up with a lucrative plan. He caught him some flies, Which he baked into pies, Then sold to a wealthy frog-man.
Hackers always wear ski masks. I have watched enough corporate training videos to know this for a fact. I would say that these ski masks are for hiding the hacker’s identity, but they seem a little unnecessary given that hackers always work from dark basements illuminated only by the eerie green light of their computerContinue reading “Jake’s New Job”
The Council had the idea that science was a kind of magic that could both instantly solve any problem and backup any claim they chose to make.