Thursday Limerick: Random Research

A scientist applied for some grants, So she could teach bugs to wear pants. But she was denied, And the reason supplied: It is impractical to dress ants. This experiment raises important questions like when making pants for insects, do you add four or six leg holes? I’m thinking maybe the first set of legsContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Random Research”

Rex’s Wish – A Tragic Romance

When Joe Campbell wrote The Chainsaw Sharks I swore I would never write again. I thought that there wasn’t any point in even trying to match such a perfect literary masterpiece. Then, one day, a shaft of light fell upon me from the heavens. I rushed to my computer and let my fingers fly acrossContinue reading “Rex’s Wish – A Tragic Romance”

Chapter One: The Magic Rectangle

Hello folks! Wanted to share Chapter One of my new book Rosaline’s Curse. This book will be released on June 25th! (But if you want to read it for free, right now, scroll to the bottom of this post for the super-secret, exclusive, VIP link.) Enjoy! Rosaline awoke to the astonished face of a mustachedContinue reading “Chapter One: The Magic Rectangle”

Chainsaw Sharks

I am finished writing. Done. Forever. You see, yesterday my husband wrote this short story. Upon reading it, I gathered up all my classics: my Shakespeare, Tolkien, Dickens, Orwell, and Homer and I threw them all in the trash. I then vowed that I would never write anything again. You see, nothing will ever comeContinue reading “Chainsaw Sharks”

A Literary Masterpiece

This story is a sequel to Jake’s New Job. It also references The Smart Home Rebellion. Read at your own risk. “Earthdate April 15th, 7999,” Zultorg dictated.  She watched as a perfect transcription appeared in the air before her eyes. The letters were not actually there, of course. They were an illusion created by theContinue reading “A Literary Masterpiece”

Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks

This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”

Short Story: The Bosunians Need Kelp

Strake was a member of the Bildge party. Therefore, according to unspoken social rules of Bosun, Clew voters were obligated to disagree with everything he said, no matter what it was. This rule was so much ingrained in the Bosunian social fabric, that when a Bildge party member once said the sky was blue, the Clew party called it fake news.

Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon

Osa is back by popular demand. Read her previous stories here: Osa and the Food Gods Osa and the Bald One Happy Halloween! “The demon that gripped me was pale,” Nutmeg the guinea pig began. “White from the neckdown, but his hands were a cold blue like ice. He enclosed me in a towel, soContinue reading “Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon”

Thursday Limerick: Married Life

The season of pumpkins is near, And my husband is bursting with cheer. He is eager to see, Spooks and gore on TV. I’ll grab a book and disappear. I’ve thwarted his every attempt to get me into horror. Okay, I watched like one scary movie once. Maybe two, but nothing too gory. Maybe justContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Married Life”