An oppressive and unceasing rain, Was driving this writer insane. Though she chose this battle, When she moved to Seattle, It’s not something she’d do again.
An octopus needing some tea, Ventured away from the sea. But the price of a chai, Was four dollars too high, So she went home and made some for free.
A terrier covered in flour, Refused to step into the shower. A burglar he’d fight, The mailman he’d bite. But from water he’d run off and cower.
Note: This story is a sequel to Elves vs Elves: A Christmas Miracle. Read this first or risk confusion. At the age of a hundred and sixty, Princess Sciatica wasn’t technically a teenager. She was, however, the elven equivalent. She sat in the passenger seat of her father’s car, scowling out the window asContinue reading “Elf vs Elf: A Family Drama”
Enthralled by your Christmas tree, Your cat will set ornaments free. She’ll bat and she’ll tug, Until the tree hits the rug, And destruction will fill her with glee.
There once was a conquering horse, Who took someone’s pasture by force. But through God’s saving grace, He relinquished the place, And left full of pain and remorse.
Hackers always wear ski masks. I have watched enough corporate training videos to know this for a fact. I would say that these ski masks are for hiding the hacker’s identity, but they seem a little unnecessary given that hackers always work from dark basements illuminated only by the eerie green light of their computerContinue reading “Jake’s New Job”
A scientist–eccentric and quirky, Engineered a self-seasoning turkey. In creating the bird, Criticisms incurred, For his methods were morally murky.
Totally not a passive aggressive commentary on my husband’s taste in movies. (It’s an aggressive commentary on my husband’s taste in movies.) My husband went out and got, A film with a horrible plot. It was truly a bore, (only blood, guts, and gore). And surely caused his brain to rot.
There was a landscaper named Shawn, Who cherished his beautiful lawn. The sprawling green rug, Made him feel pretty smug. Though any semblance of nature was gone. What’s a dandelion or two? There might be more than two on my lawn… Actually, I don’t really have a lawn, I have dandelions and dirt. Is thisContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: The Natureless Lawn”