There once was a fellow named Jerry. His face was all unkempt and hairy. When his wife said to shave, He had no choice but to cave, Because she was insistent and scary.
Work left Darsh no time to rest. He decided to take a plane west. For California he pined, To relax and unwind, But the tourist tax left him more stressed.
Note: This story is a sequel to Elves vs Elves: A Christmas Miracle. Read this first or risk confusion. At the age of a hundred and sixty, Princess Sciatica wasn’t technically a teenager. She was, however, the elven equivalent. She sat in the passenger seat of her father’s car, scowling out the window asContinue reading “Elf vs Elf: A Family Drama”
Enthralled by your Christmas tree, Your cat will set ornaments free. She’ll bat and she’ll tug, Until the tree hits the rug, And destruction will fill her with glee.
There once was a conquering horse, Who took someone’s pasture by force. But through God’s saving grace, He relinquished the place, And left full of pain and remorse.
Hackers always wear ski masks. I have watched enough corporate training videos to know this for a fact. I would say that these ski masks are for hiding the hacker’s identity, but they seem a little unnecessary given that hackers always work from dark basements illuminated only by the eerie green light of their computerContinue reading “Jake’s New Job”
A scientist–eccentric and quirky, Engineered a self-seasoning turkey. In creating the bird, Criticisms incurred, For his methods were morally murky.
There was a landscaper named Shawn, Who cherished his beautiful lawn. The sprawling green rug, Made him feel pretty smug. Though any semblance of nature was gone. What’s a dandelion or two? There might be more than two on my lawn… Actually, I don’t really have a lawn, I have dandelions and dirt. Is thisContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: The Natureless Lawn”
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Actually that’s total BS. Inspired by a true story… Joe had a bad habit. He forgot to eat his leftovers. The back of his fridge was full of plastic containers loaded with food in various states of decay. ToContinue reading “Halloween Special: Leftover Vengeance”
We all get carried away sometimes, especially when in quarantine. There once was a clothes-wearing grouse, Who needed to buy a new blouse. But with a great deal of glee, She went on a spree, And could not fit her clothes in her house.