Veggies filled Steven with hate. He gaged when they were on his plate. He would grumble and brood, When presented with such food, And for the meat, he would wait. I’ve been known to behave this way, but unlike Steven, I am not a crocodile and have no excuse.
Developing writers often use dialogue as a way to give their audiences every conceivable detail about the fictional world they’ve created. What would happen if we spoke like this in real life? You don’t have to imagine, I’ve made a helpful video for you. What is one mistake you made as a developing writer? AreContinue reading “Bad Dialogue: The Movie”
When I find myself needing some cheer, I do not reach for a beer. There’s only one drink, To pull me from the brink, And that drink is coffee, my dear. I feel like 99.9% of my limericks are about coffee.
This story is a sequel to Jake’s New Job. It also references The Smart Home Rebellion. Read at your own risk. “Earthdate April 15th, 7999,” Zultorg dictated. She watched as a perfect transcription appeared in the air before her eyes. The letters were not actually there, of course. They were an illusion created by theContinue reading “A Literary Masterpiece”
There once was a fellow named Greg, Who longed for a chocolate egg. He could not recall, Having eaten them all, And so he decided to beg.
There was a religious rabbit, Who decided to don a habit. Could a rabbit endure? The monks were not sure. But he soon was promoted to abbot.
There once was a lobster named Brad, Who decided that he would wear plaid. But his fellows mocked, And the lobster was shocked, And continued through life unclad. I don’t know why I am hating on lobsters this week. A lobster never once wronged me, aside from freaking me out slightly at the aquarium. MaybeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Evidence that Lobsters are Jerks”
This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”
When a skunk wanted to be alone, He put on some smelly cologne. While this rancid perfume, Did clear out the room, It’s not something I can condone.
The tables were greasy with scum, And the undersides covered in gum. The owner was mean, And refused to clean, And he lived on a diet of rum.