This story is a sequel to Jake’s New Job. It also references The Smart Home Rebellion. Read at your own risk. “Earthdate April 15th, 7999,” Zultorg dictated. She watched as a perfect transcription appeared in the air before her eyes. The letters were not actually there, of course. They were an illusion created by theContinue reading “A Literary Masterpiece”
Tag Archives: Funny
Thursday Limerick: After Easter
There once was a fellow named Greg, Who longed for a chocolate egg. He could not recall, Having eaten them all, And so he decided to beg.
Thursday Limerick: Religious Rabbit
There was a religious rabbit, Who decided to don a habit. Could a rabbit endure? The monks were not sure. But he soon was promoted to abbot.
Thursday Limerick: More Evidence that Lobsters are Jerks
There once was a lobster named Brad, Who decided that he would wear plaid. But his fellows mocked, And the lobster was shocked, And continued through life unclad. I don’t know why I am hating on lobsters this week. A lobster never once wronged me, aside from freaking me out slightly at the aquarium. MaybeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Evidence that Lobsters are Jerks”
Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks
This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”
Thursday Limerick: The Skunk
When a skunk wanted to be alone, He put on some smelly cologne. While this rancid perfume, Did clear out the room, It’s not something I can condone.
Thursday Limerick: Don’t Go To This Restaurant
The tables were greasy with scum, And the undersides covered in gum. The owner was mean, And refused to clean, And he lived on a diet of rum.
Thursday Limerick: A Strange Substitute for Milk
A lactose intolerant fairy, Who couldn’t consume any dairy, Tried hard to think, Of an alternate drink, And finally settled on sherry.
Thursday Limerick: More Advice
A mortal should always be wary, Of making a deal with a fairy. You could end up with a curse, You can not reverse, The idea of which is quite scary. Potential curses include: All coffee turns to decaf the moment it touches your lips. The unsubscribe button on your spam emails doesn’t work. ForcedContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Advice”
Thursday Limerick: Fishy Classmate
A fish was unusually bold. So into college he enrolled. The sight of a bass, In an algebra class, Was certainly one to behold.
The Fables of Para Sympan 