Useless Publishing Tips

Since there isn’t enough unsolicited advice on the internet, I decided to compile everything I’ve learned about publishing into six useless tips which I shared on Instagram. Now, here they are in blog form for your enjoyment.

Useless Publishing Tip #1:

Your book cover should stand out but also look exactly like every other book cover in your genre.

I just saved you hours and hours of research on designing your book cover! You’re welcome.

Useless Publishing Tip #2:

Mundane covers appeal to adult readers because they remind them of their own lives. Do not use illustrations on the covers of books for adults. Just slap some text over a stock photo of a tree and call it a day.

Useless Publishing Tip #3:

The age and gender of your protagonist should match the age and gender of your target audience. Tolkien modeled this approach when he wrote The Hobbit for fifty-year-old men.

Useless Publishing Tip #4:

The best way for authors to gain a following, is by creating social media posts for their millions of followers.

Useless Publishing Tip #5:

Try marketing by putting text over a stoic selfie, it will let your readers know you’re serious about your topic.

Useless Publishing Tip #6:

When you design your cover, your name should be at least twice the size of the book title. No one cares about your title. They care about seeing your name in 400pt impact font.

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What useless publishing tips would you add? Share them in the comments!

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I am currently doing a new series with some bad writing tips!

A day will come when I stop being sarcastic. Today is not that day.