Please don’t read this to your kids. Nothing about South Jersey is child appropriate. There is a four-letter word that I am absolutely sure none of you have ever read. If you ever did read it, you would be so utterly horrified and offended, you would instantly die of a heart attack. Unfortunately, the offendingContinue reading “A South Jersey Fairy Tale”
Osa is back by popular demand. Read her previous stories here: Osa and the Food Gods Osa and the Bald One Happy Halloween! “The demon that gripped me was pale,” Nutmeg the guinea pig began. “White from the neckdown, but his hands were a cold blue like ice. He enclosed me in a towel, soContinue reading “Short Story: Osa and the Rug Demon”
CIA agent Max Carnage stood in an elevator watching the numbers over the door descend. The CIA’s hiring policies only allowed them to recruit agents who were over six feet tall and unnaturally good-looking. Even disguised as a janitor in a frumpy blue jumpsuit, Max was worried his broad shoulders, strong jawline, and chiseled featuresContinue reading “Short Story: Max Carnage, CIA”
Note: This story is a sequel to Elves vs Elves: A Christmas Miracle. Read this first or risk confusion. At the age of a hundred and sixty, Princess Sciatica wasn’t technically a teenager. She was, however, the elven equivalent. She sat in the passenger seat of her father’s car, scowling out the window asContinue reading “Elf vs Elf: A Family Drama”
Hackers always wear ski masks. I have watched enough corporate training videos to know this for a fact. I would say that these ski masks are for hiding the hacker’s identity, but they seem a little unnecessary given that hackers always work from dark basements illuminated only by the eerie green light of their computerContinue reading “Jake’s New Job”
A scientist–eccentric and quirky, Engineered a self-seasoning turkey. In creating the bird, Criticisms incurred, For his methods were morally murky.
Totally not a passive aggressive commentary on my husband’s taste in movies. (It’s an aggressive commentary on my husband’s taste in movies.) My husband went out and got, A film with a horrible plot. It was truly a bore, (only blood, guts, and gore). And surely caused his brain to rot.
This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to actual persons or events is purely coincidental. Actually that’s total BS. Inspired by a true story… Joe had a bad habit. He forgot to eat his leftovers. The back of his fridge was full of plastic containers loaded with food in various states of decay. ToContinue reading “Halloween Special: Leftover Vengeance”
We all get carried away sometimes, especially when in quarantine. There once was a clothes-wearing grouse, Who needed to buy a new blouse. But with a great deal of glee, She went on a spree, And could not fit her clothes in her house.
There was a mischievous hare. Who hoped to give someone a scare. He jumped out and yelled “BOO!” Then he startled and flew, For the creature he pranked was a bear.