This is a work of fiction. Any similarities to actual persons or events is purely coincidental.
Actually that’s total BS.
Inspired by a true story…
Joe had a bad habit. He forgot to eat his leftovers. The back of his fridge was full of plastic containers loaded with food in various states of decay.
To make matters worse, he never cleaned out the containers even when the food was obviously too far gone to consume. He just continued buying new containers and adding to his ever growing fungus collection.
His roommate, Nick, begged and pleaded every time he saw Joe pouring food from his plate into another leftover box.
“Please, just throw it out!”
“I don’t want to waste it,” Joe answered casually.
“You’re going to waste it anyway!” Nick replied. “When you forget it’s in the fridge.”
“I won’t,” Joe answered.
“You always say that,” Nick insisted.
“This time I’ll eat it. I promise.”
It was an empty promise but Nick was kind of a sucker and let Joe get away with it.
The collection continued to grow. Slowly, over time, Nick noticed a strange smell building up in the kitchen. He realized it was coming from the fridge.
“Joe, clean out the fridge,” he demanded.
“I will,” Joe promised.
“When?”
“Tomorrow,” Joe answered.
Joe was lying of course. Not on purpose, but he just couldn’t face the monster he’d created. The thought of opening any of those containers filled him with dread.
The weeks dragged on. The collection grew. Nick kept begging for deliverance and Joe kept making empty promises.
Then one evening, as Joe sat on the sofa playing a game on his phone, he heard a knock.
He looked around. Nick was on a nearby recliner watching a movie, looking equally confused.
They waited a moment, listening carefully. Then they both shrugged and looked back at their screens.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Joe looked up. Nick looked up. Then they looked at each other.
“I think it’s coming from the kitchen,” Nick said.
They both moved toward the kitchen to investigate with Joe in the lead and Nick cowering behind him.
The knocking resumed as the fridge came into sight through the entryway.
Knock. Knock…
Then with a deafening crash the refrigerator door flew open. A vile smell filled the room overpowering their senses. Joe doubled over clutching his stomach while Nick watched in dumbfounded horror as a massive slug-like blob oozed out onto the floor.
It was covered in green and orange and white fuzz. It’s eyes were like little black marbles perched on top of stalks. Though it didn’t have pupils, Nick could tell it was looking at them. He could feel it.
Then the creature slithered forward, making an awful lurching sound as it maneuvered. Behind it, a second creature plopped out of the fridge sending empty plastic containers in all directions.
The awful things would have enveloped Joe and Nick right then and there except that they were a tad too classy. They cooked Joe and Nick into a casserole which they ate off fine china by candle light.
When they were finished, one of the things noticed a few scoops of casserole left in their crystal serving dish.
“Do you think that’s worth saving, Margarat?” The first creature asked.
“Well, we don’t want to waste it, Gerald,” creature Margaret replied.
“But what if you forget it’s in the fridge?”
“Me?” Margaret gasped. “I wouldn’t dream of it!”
“But what if you do?” Gerald insisted.
“I swear I will not,” Margaret asserted.
But of course, it was an empty promise.
The Fables of Para Sympan 