An artist once used neon paint, To complete a portrait of a saint. It was put on display, But soon taken away, When the cantor filed a complaint.
A woman whose name was Irene. Behaved as if she was a queen. She wore a coat, Made from hair of a stoat, Which made all her fellows turn green. …It made her look dashing and lean? …Environmentalists thought it was mean? …The stoats thought that it was obscene? Pick your ending. I’m out!
When a sea lion needed some help, Constructing a house made of kelp. A contractor named Dan, Helped him realize his plan. And was hence reviewed fondly on Yelp. Five Stars: Called 15 places trying to find someone to help me with this project. Dan was the only one willing to build under water. HeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Dan is Awesome”
There once was a hardworking owl. Who eventually smelled pretty fowl. So he took a shower, For over an hour, Then wrapped himself up in a towel.
There once was an intrusive fly, Who simply refused to die. I attempted to kill, But it wouldn’t keep still. It was quick and surprisingly sly.
Big news! I’ve just launched my new book, The Canadian Nights. Description: The president of the United States has a giant red button on his desk. If he ever chose to push this button, it would send the world into chaos. This button is for emergencies only and is designed to break the internet. HowContinue reading “New Book Release!”
A parrot named Polly was wed, To an old vulture named Fred. But Fred was not rich, So she decided to ditch, And she packed up her things and fled. Poor Fred. </3
There once was a fellow named Pete. Who was religiously neat. When a visitor cruised, Inside wearing shoes, The germaphobe cut off his feet. Really, Pete, you could have asked politely.
Bill was both cruel and naive. And stayed up all night Christmas Eve. His cunning plan, was to catch the fat man. But Bill’s family was destined to grieve.
If you are one of the people who read the original stories, I hereby honor you with the title hipster.