A World Remarkably Like Our Own
Veggies filled Steven with hate. He gaged when they were on his plate. He would grumble and brood, When presented with such food, And for the meat, he would wait. I’ve been known to behave this way, but unlike Steven, I am not a crocodile and have no excuse.
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This story is a sequel to Jake’s New Job. It also references The Smart Home Rebellion. Read at your own risk. “Earthdate April 15th, 7999,” Zultorg dictated. She watched as a perfect transcription appeared in the air before her eyes. The letters were not actually there, of course. They were an illusion created by theContinue reading “A Literary Masterpiece”
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When a skunk wanted to be alone, He put on some smelly cologne. While this rancid perfume, Did clear out the room, It’s not something I can condone.
When the blogger decided to write, Outrage he hoped to incite. But the internet mob, Made him whimper and sob, And gave him a terrible fright.
The tables were greasy with scum, And the undersides covered in gum. The owner was mean, And refused to clean, And he lived on a diet of rum.
A lactose intolerant fairy, Who couldn’t consume any dairy, Tried hard to think, Of an alternate drink, And finally settled on sherry.
A mortal should always be wary, Of making a deal with a fairy. You could end up with a curse, You can not reverse, The idea of which is quite scary. Potential curses include: All coffee turns to decaf the moment it touches your lips. The unsubscribe button on your spam emails doesn’t work. ForcedContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Advice”
Strake was a member of the Bildge party. Therefore, according to unspoken social rules of Bosun, Clew voters were obligated to disagree with everything he said, no matter what it was. This rule was so much ingrained in the Bosunian social fabric, that when a Bildge party member once said the sky was blue, the Clew party called it fake news.
An artist once used neon paint, To complete a portrait of a saint. It was put on display, But soon taken away, When the cantor filed a complaint.
A woman whose name was Irene. Behaved as if she was a queen. She wore a coat, Made from hair of a stoat, Which made all her fellows turn green. …It made her look dashing and lean? …Environmentalists thought it was mean? …The stoats thought that it was obscene? Pick your ending. I’m out!
The Fables of Para Sympan 