There once was a lobster named Brad, Who decided that he would wear plaid. But his fellows mocked, And the lobster was shocked, And continued through life unclad. I don’t know why I am hating on lobsters this week. A lobster never once wronged me, aside from freaking me out slightly at the aquarium. MaybeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Evidence that Lobsters are Jerks”
Tag Archives: Funny
Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks
This is my most realistic story. Lobster Harry was crammed into a tiny tank at the local Fresh Mart. He shared the already claustrophobic space with a dozen other lobsters. His claws were restrained with rubber bands. He was frightened and hungry and couldn’t stop thinking about his family. Back home on the reef, heContinue reading “Short Story: Lobsters are Jerks”
Thursday Limerick: The Skunk
When a skunk wanted to be alone, He put on some smelly cologne. While this rancid perfume, Did clear out the room, It’s not something I can condone.
Thursday Limerick: Don’t Go To This Restaurant
The tables were greasy with scum, And the undersides covered in gum. The owner was mean, And refused to clean, And he lived on a diet of rum.
Thursday Limerick: A Strange Substitute for Milk
A lactose intolerant fairy, Who couldn’t consume any dairy, Tried hard to think, Of an alternate drink, And finally settled on sherry.
Thursday Limerick: More Advice
A mortal should always be wary, Of making a deal with a fairy. You could end up with a curse, You can not reverse, The idea of which is quite scary. Potential curses include: All coffee turns to decaf the moment it touches your lips. The unsubscribe button on your spam emails doesn’t work. ForcedContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: More Advice”
Thursday Limerick: Fishy Classmate
A fish was unusually bold. So into college he enrolled. The sight of a bass, In an algebra class, Was certainly one to behold.
Thursday Limerick: Don’t Steal from Santa
There once was a fellow named Bill, A cookie he’d fight for and kill. He was so filled with hate, He stole from Santa’s plate, And what he got for Christmas was nil.
Thursday Limerick: Cat vs Christmas Tree
A fur tree of towering height, Decorated with ornaments bright, Fell near the cat, Almost knocking him flat, And gave him a horrible fright.
Short Story: The Bosunians Need Kelp
Strake was a member of the Bildge party. Therefore, according to unspoken social rules of Bosun, Clew voters were obligated to disagree with everything he said, no matter what it was. This rule was so much ingrained in the Bosunian social fabric, that when a Bildge party member once said the sky was blue, the Clew party called it fake news.
The Fables of Para Sympan 