A World Remarkably Like Our Own
Here is your weekly limerick!
I know a blogger named Dwight.*
Who always insists he is right.
If you counter his claims,
He moans and complains!
I think he enjoys a good fight.
*I do not actually know any bloggers named Dwight. Such name was chosen because it rhymes with right. Any relation to actual bloggers name Dwight, especially beloved bloggers with mobs of homicidal followers, is purely coincidental.
There once was a literate frog,
Who decided to start his own blog.
Posts on how to baste flies,
And make cockroach pies,
Were hits with the folks in the bog.
Pizza was Ralph's biggest vice.
To abstain was his doctor's advice.
When temptation came,
He could not refrain,
And died while consuming a slice.
(Written after several days of trying to keep a Venus Fly Trap alive. Someone please explain how those things survive in the wild, without people to bring them their distilled water and soy lattes?!?! Freakin’ diva plant!)
Why do plants that I want always die,
While the ones that I don't, multiply?
No matter how hard I strive,
To keep good ones alive,
They always refuse to comply.
Happy Thursday:
They say Californians are nice.
It's true, but they do have one vice.
When they start to drive,
You must fight to survive.
Before getting a rental, think twice.
What should next week’s limerick be about? Let me know in the comments. Challenges welcome.
And now back to the Thursday Limerick.
Seattle is home to a brew,
That helps me start each day anew.
Some have even said,
It can raise up the dead!
And I believe their stories are true.
Instead of doing a limerick this week, I decided to give you all a new short. I fed every story on my website into the Botnik predictive keyboard. The result is beautiful. I think I might just give up writing and let AIs do it from now on. Here you go:
The people of Helevina know very well that one person raised in Kalathea has become nothing. The king ‘s inexperience with his mouth was completely harmless. However he couldn’t stop calling out his people for their religion.
James realized that cleaning unfinished donuts was going to kill him.
” You are incapable of reason! ” He exclaimed. ” How about killing me yourself? “
The high elf king glared at him. ” You don’t understand why his father died. Fairies have filthy eyes full of paperwork. ”
He looked wildly around. The entire room was completely transformed in to a multinational organization.
“Alexander ‘s heart desires as many espresso shots as you can make,” the receptionist explained.
Every person ‘s reputation was crashing. Santa Claus was standing next to her.
” Fairies are everywhere, ” he exclaimed.
James noted this. ” I will tell them to find another job, ” he said.
Alexander looked over his shoulder at Mackerel Valley Airport and started screaming for his father.
” I thought you were dead, ” Fausta recalled. ” You must not change anything. It would only bring me these behaviors. ”
Well they were all sitting together with pens calling for their favorite monks. Then, finally, Debra decided to approach everything before them and Alexander marveled. He felt certain his employees were going to jump across horses until Christmas.
” How about killing humans? ” Alexander asked. ” I already prepared hundreds of Christmas elves. ”
The old monk motioned to the closest person, then stepped aside allowing him to break his face.
” This is wrong, ” Fausta complained. ” You don’t understand these behaviors. ”
Alexander grumbled something under his breath and then obediently followed her to the airport newsstand. Normally they could continue mourning his people, but he was just preparing for his covetous companions to get blamed.
Scott was desperate to win his attention and started screaming viciously. When the guards frantically called every person in, the airport gremlin philosophers despaired. They were having lunch and when they could not retreat, the high elves declared war. Peasants protested and Alexander realized that he was dressed like a woman.
He started gobbling them up and this took place in Kaltehafen.
The end.
Truly Botnik is a visionary.
Here is your random limerick for the week.
A hipster named Jose once said,
He would only eat organic bread.
When a famine came 'round,
And none could be found,
He was pesticide free and yet dead.
You’re welcome!
I recently asked my FaceBook friends to provide me with random topics. I had to create a limerick for each topic provided. Below are the results:
Topic One: Getting a Root Canal
I know a fellow named Dwayne,
whose tooth was in horrible pain,
He neglected to brush,
and it filled up with pus,
so the dentist removed the whole vein.
Topic Two: Diesel Fuel
Put this in a gasoline car,
and it certainly won't go that far.
The engine will die,
and you'll start to cry,
and vent your despair at the bar.
Topic Three: “Excessive outdoor temperatures and/or hatred of exercise lol”
Climate change made it so hot,
though Fred had to move he would not.
An inconsolable grouch,
he lay on the couch,
unwilling to do what he ought.
Now it’s your turn. Got any random topics? Leave them in the comments and I will see what I can do. Also, feel free to request a topic of your own. I’ll give you something really hard. >:)
Happy Thursday!
Happy Thursday. Here is a random limerick:
Developing software is tough,
And Susan had quite enough,
So she changed up her code, made the server explode,
And was pleased with her blatant rebuff.
The Fables of Para Sympan 