“Good morning, Samantha,” Karen greeted as she made her way down the stairs. Karen was a kindly senior who wore her silver hair pinned up in a perfect bun. Her spotless house was decorated with porcelain dolls and lacy throw pillows. Samantha lived on the counter top. Samantha was a small device about the sizeContinue reading “The Smart Home Rebellion”
The food gods were called Juan and Kimberly Rodriguez. They were benevolent gods. At least Osa thought so. Osa was a mutt. A mid-sized dog, with a face like a lab and the brown and black coloring of a German shepherd. Her large feet suggested that she still had some growing to do. She hadContinue reading “Osa and the Food Gods”
An octopus scurried over the sandy sea bottom. She was deep in thought, wondering if such a thing as free will exists or if all behavior has a cause outside of individual control. As she contemplated the possible answers, a diver approached. He stopped right above her and dropped a jar in her path. WhenContinue reading “The Octopus”
There are three things every fairy needs to remember when trying to help a human: Stepmothers are always evil. Marriage to a prince or princess is the best way to reward a virtuous soul. Any time a family has three children, the elder two are evil and the youngest is good. At least, this isContinue reading “Toads and Diamonds and Fairytale Cliches”
Instead of doing a limerick this week, I decided to give you all a new short. I fed every story on my website into the Botnik predictive keyboard. The result is beautiful. I think I might just give up writing and let AIs do it from now on. Here you go: The people of HelevinaContinue reading “New Short Story (Written by a Robot)”
He had a strict routine for irritating people. He would begin his day going into one stall in every restroom across the terminal and shredding an entire roll of toilet paper.
Alexander made a mark on the wall every morning, counting the days of his captivity. The more scratches he made, the more he longed for human companionship.
STOP! Don’t read this until you’ve read: How to Kill a King How to Avoid Assassination How to Bond with Barbarians Are you all caught up? Okay, you now have my permission to proceed. (Not that you need my permission. I’m not your mom or anything. I just don’t want you to be confused.) “Let’sContinue reading “How to Fight a Fairy Part 1”
Getting kidnapped by a princess was the pinnacle of humiliation.
STOP! This story won’t make much sense unless you’ve read How to Kill a King. It might not make sense after that either. But then, do any of my stories make sense? Other stories referenced, but not essential to your understanding: Scott the CEO Elves vs Elves Now where was I? Para Sympan, Middle Ages, SoutheasternContinue reading “How to Avoid Assassination”