Insisting that she was the boss, Of making the cranberry sauce, Darlene picked a fight, And was up half the night, Being disgruntled and cross. Between you and me, I like the canned stuff. Yes, that stuff that’s unnaturally red and keeps the shape of the can when you dump it. Delicious! Bonus! Here isContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Don’t Be Darlene”
There once was a fellow named Sam. Who wished Thanksgiving dinner was ham. Suggesting this change, Soon got him estranged. So he went home alone and ate spam. Sam just had to be different, didn’t he?
An artist once used neon paint, To complete a portrait of a saint. It was put on display, But soon taken away, When the cantor filed a complaint.
A fellow, angry and cruel, Challenged an Amish man to a duel. With words witty and tight, The Amish man chose to fight. His antagonist looked like a fool.
A woman whose name was Irene. Behaved as if she was a queen. She wore a coat, Made from hair of a stoat, Which made all her fellows turn green. …It made her look dashing and lean? …Environmentalists thought it was mean? …The stoats thought that it was obscene? Pick your ending. I’m out!
If you think that you want a pet, But don’t know what kind you should get, Birds, cats, and mice, Are all very nice. Venomous snakes you are bound to regret. Follow me for more helpful advice:
There once was a well cultured ant. Who liked Van Gogh and Rembrandt. To the museum she went, And though long hours spent, Found it unbearably scant.
The season of pumpkins is near, And my husband is bursting with cheer. He is eager to see, Spooks and gore on TV. I’ll grab a book and disappear. I’ve thwarted his every attempt to get me into horror. Okay, I watched like one scary movie once. Maybe two, but nothing too gory. Maybe justContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Married Life”
When a sea lion needed some help, Constructing a house made of kelp. A contractor named Dan, Helped him realize his plan. And was hence reviewed fondly on Yelp. Five Stars: Called 15 places trying to find someone to help me with this project. Dan was the only one willing to build under water. HeContinue reading “Thursday Limerick: Dan is Awesome”
There once was a hardworking owl. Who eventually smelled pretty fowl. So he took a shower, For over an hour, Then wrapped himself up in a towel.