Short Story: Megalomess

For today’s story, we are going back to the fish planet Bosun. If you are unfamiliar with Bosun, check out my previous fish stories here:

A Fish Dichotomy

The Bosunians Need Kelp

Dr. Mizzen Sternway was a fish scientist and I don’t mean she was an ichthyologist. I mean that she was a reverse merperson with a trout torso and human legs and feet.  Of course, everyone on the planet Bosun was similarly fishy, so she didn’t turn many heads. (Incidentally, most fish do not have necks, so turning heads on Bosun would be quite a feat, even for a scientist.)

What was quite a feat was that Dr. Sternway had just achieved a scientific breakthrough–she had created a creature quite similar to the long extinct megalodon shark. And she did it with nothing but DNA, scissors, tape and her wits. 

Her team called the sharklet Bruce and spent many months monitoring him as he grew from the comfort of their top secret laboratory.  At long last, Dr. Sternway decided it was time to make the public aware of this amazing breakthrough, so she made the questionable decision of inviting the press over for a look at him. 

The reporters who answered her call were some combination of large-mouth bass and piranhas. They crammed themselves into her lab and watched in awe as her creation swam around his tank. 

“You brought the megalodon back from extinction?” asked a piranha from The Daily Bite. 

“No, you can’t resurrect an extinct creature,” Dr. Sternway explained. “What we did was try and create a creature with similar characteristics by altering the DNA of a great white.” 

All the reporters nodded as best they could without necks and began furiously scribbling notes. 

They continued asking questions, took photographs and by the end of the day, Dr. Sternway thought the whole thing had gone about as well as any press conference could. She gave Bruce some extra shrimp before going to bed and stroked him on the nose. 

The next morning, Dr. Sternway made the horrible mistake of starting her day by opening up her ChirpChat social media app. The first thing she saw was a linked article to The Daily Bite with the headline: 

Scientists Resurrect the Megalodon! 

Bruce was pictured in all his glory beneath this headline. Dr. Sternway sighed and scrolled down only to see another picture of Bruce from Gossip Gulp titled Is Extinction Irrelevant?

She grumbled at this and continued grumping as she witnessed one article after another all making similar claims. 

She decided it was time to make a call to a friend of hers who wrote for Ichthy Print magazine, hoping at least one person would clear up the misunderstanding. 

Ichthy Print didn’t let her down. Before the day was done, a new article was circulating on ChirpChat titled: No, Bruce is NOT a Megalodon: But He Can Help Us Learn About Them.

The article went into detail about Dr. Sternway’s methods and what she hoped to learn from Bruce. Sternway went to bed that night, feeling hopeful that the misunderstanding had been resolved. 

The following morning, she opened up ChirpChat, only to be greeted by a picture of herself beneath the headline: Fraud Scientist Lies About Deextinction.
She frowned and scrolled further: 

Scientists Lied about Bruce: What Else Are They Lying About? 

A strange calm overcame her as she turned off her phone. That afternoon, she fed Bruce some extra shrimp. After reading articles about her supposed lies all morning, she realized that he had taught her more about sharks than she ever imagined possible.